Archive for the ‘Overcoming Low Self Esteem’ Category
Do successful women like Ann Sieg that “have made it”, have the same challenges as “we” normal women have?
Did she suffer from low self worth ever?
Yesterday (today is Sunday July 19th 2009) I had the honor of interviewing Ann Sieg for my Successful Business Women series. We had a blast!
Do you know who Ann Sieg is?
She is my greatest role model. She is the women who had the balls to tell the truth about Network Marketing and to revolutionize the entire industry a couple of years ago. Thanks to her and her e-book, The Renegade Network Marketer,
I am on the internet and have a thriving business.
Ann considers herself an educator. She owns several multi-million dollar businesses, and the majority of them are focused on teaching people real business and marketing skills.
She absolutely lives what she preaches, which is give value first and always over deliver. She has helped an enormous number of people mastering attraction marketing and answered their questions what attraction marketing is. She does this not only in the Network Marketing industry but also in the small business world, to understand what they need to do in order to attract business to them.
During my time with Ann on the call yesterday, we touched on several very interesting points, like:
• Are giving and receiving the same?
• How does lack of self confidence and overcoming low self esteem affect our business?
• And, how do we gain influence and become attractive?
As a special bonus, Ann shared her key success. Find out what that is by listening to the audio below.
P.S. Grab your copy of Ann’s latest report the Attraction Marketers Manifesto here for free, it’s a gem packed high value 72 page book!
One client described her husband’s disapproval recently. He didn’t like her internet marketing business and the products she sold, and he let her know his thoughts in no uncertain terms. This seemed to make my client’s work impossible to do.
In the old, traditional way of marketing, the solution to her problem would have been to force her partner to listen to accounts by the most fabulously successful super marketers, to convince him that the profession is worthy of respect.
In attraction marketing, though, her approach can be quite different. With this new method, my client can work on her inner realities as a way to affect the world surrounding her.
I strongly believe that our inner life, the way we think and perceive things, has everything to do with the outer world around us.
I asked my client, does this feeling of not being supported remind you of other times in your life? She actually had a long history of others discouraging her initiatives, going all the way back to childhood. So she had come to believe that her own needs weren’t valid or to be taken seriously.
This conditioning made it very difficult to find success in business. It simply wasn’t true that her needs were not important, but she had that negative belief and low self esteem deep inside.
Wherever you feel restricted – whether it’s in terms of time, money, or the support of loved ones – take a look at the issue from the basis of your beliefs about it. Are you restricting yourself through negative thinking? Is the feeling of lack and low self esteem a familiar one to you? Can you trace it back to previous events in your life, and did you unconsciously form negative beliefs that are now working against you?
When you use attraction marketing, you become a public figure and your success is determined by your ability to deal with overcoming low self etseem, your ability to be positive, your inner strength, and self-validation.
My client finally understood that her partner’s lack of support could be changed by her own inner work, by refusing to accept the negative beliefs she’d adopted over the years.
If you are in network marketing that’s what the people upstairs told you, and that’s why you got into the business in the first place.
There are products and services that seemingly fly of the shelf, but in reality the people who own these businesses have done their home work.
They know what they have got and they know who to market it to.
Having a great product or service is just one part of the successful sales and marketing equation.
The successful sales and marketing equation consists of three parts.
Having a great product.
Having a niche to market it to
and most importantly knowing who you are.
In this article we will look at each of theses three components and how low self esteem is effecting them.
By reading this article we will take the mystery out of niche finding and you will get clear on how to find yours.
So to begin with lets look at part one of the successful sales and marketing equation.
Having a great product or service.
Having a great product or service is pretty self explanatory, because usually the way we find our products is by trying them out and falling in love with them.
It’s like finding the one and falling in love with him. You just know it’s the right one.
My opinion is that a great product or service is the one you love.
( Interesting though is that when we fall in love with the real one we don’t want anybody else to fall in love with him)
Weird logic that we think just because we love something so much everybody else will and it will sell itself.
Self esteem doesn’t get much in the way with part one though.
Now lets look at part two of the successful sales and marketing equation:
Having a niche to market to.
Here is where things are starting to get tricky I will tell you why in just a minute.
Finding your niche is a two step process.
The first step is doing market research the second step is evaluating the data and choosing a target market.
First let’s clarify what a niche and a target market is so we are on the same page.
A niche is subcategory of a market. A market is an overall industry.
Let me give you a clear example.
Let’s say the product you fell in love with is a skin care line. The Market you are then in is the Beauty Industry.
The Beauty industry has several sub categories like skin care, hair care nail care and even pedi-care( or was it pedicure?).
You can break it down even further, skin care for teens, for moms for men for dogs etc.
The breaking it down even further has to do with step two of finding your niche your determining your target market.
Your Target Market is the group that is the most interested in your product or service.
So in your example it might be women age 35 and up, mature women ( because the younger one’s don’t have wrinkles yet), women who are sophisticated and have money to spend on beauty.
So again step one in finding your niche is researching your industry and step two is finding your hot target market.
Sounds pretty straight forward, and it’s probably not obvious to you yet how low self esteem comes into play and messes things up.
Therefor lets start with market research and you will see what happens.
In Market research we are looking for supply and demand.
We are looking at who is buying, how are they buying and how many are buying.
We are also looking at who is offering, how many are offering and how are they offering it.
We want our results to show a high demand ( lots of people wanting your skin care) and a low supply ( not very many people selling it).
Here is where low self esteem is starting to play tricks on you.
I will show you how so:
Imagine just for a moment, your self esteem is very low, the skin care products you just bought ( and you now have a garage full of) you bought in the hope of finally making it and getting from the low zone to the higher regions.
You now do your market research and you find out that tons of other people are selling the same exact thing and not enough people are looking for it.
Looking at your findings you start to feel pretty desperate and upset which is pretty predictable. ( and understandable)
You just invested all your savings in the skin care.
These results can’t be right!!!! (Because if they are it means you were wrong)
What happens now is , you start seeing your search results through a filter which is called denial ( not a river in Africa)
Who after all will buy your stuff?
Now I said before that there are three parts to the successful sales and marketing equation and that’s a very good thing because part three will save you from falling apart if your market research doesn’t turn out they way you wanted it.
Part three will save you even if you found out that your product is something nobody wants, or to many are selling.
Part three of the successful sales and marketing equation is the most important Part.
If you get this one right you can sell any product to any target market.
It’s overcoming low self esteem and knowing who YOU are.
Yes having a great product to sell is important and Yes finding a hot target market is important, but unless you put yourself in the equation your not in busienss.
I am going to be real honest here with you and I am not sugar coding anything ( because I really want to help you!)
Stay with me here this is some deep stuff that if you get it will solve most of your marketing problems.
Knowing who YOU are what does that mean?
It means that you realize your power and your strengths. It also means that you know which gifts and talents you brought to the earth. It means that you know realize that you have gifts and talents and that they only can be gifts if you share them!
The naked truth is In order to know who you are you will have to GET OVER YOURSELF!
Let me explain what I mean by that:
Do you think people are attracted to you when you in low self esteem land?
I mean common it’s even hard for people who love you to be around you in those moments.
As long as you sing the song of woewess me : everybody else is an expert, but I know nothing!
Poor me,poor me look at me I am just a worthless thing…..
( How long have you been living by now? And you really want to tell me with a straight face that there is nothing you have learned and that you can teach somebody? That’s a flat out lie!)
As long as you are in self pity land you are withholding your gifts from the world and nobody can notice you.
It’s really that simple.
So this is why part three of the successful sales and marketing equation is the most important Part.
It is totally in your hands.
Be generous, share your knowledge and they will come in droves.
As soon as you start focusing on how you can help other people, people will start feeling attracted to you.
People will start buying from you because you have given to them and they therefor trust you.
People only want to buy from people they trust.
Here are some practical steps how you can go about this:
Start going to forums that are related to your intrests.
Look for questions which you can answer. Be your self.
Grow more and more into this new role of being a servant to people who love your advice, who seek your advice.
In the process your confidence will grow and doors will open.
If you go about niche finding in this way, your niche will soon find you.
Get out of your head and get into action.
Read more overcoming low self articles and get the support you need.
In this article you will find self esteem exercises that will help you meet your goals.
These exercises will help you in overcoming low self esteem.
Often in business and in life we promise ourselves we will do things, accomplish tasks and cross out every item on our to-do list. We have the best intention to really get things done this time; but as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
We come up with timelines and deadlines, but all we accomplish is yet another hit to our already-fragile self esteem.
(Self esteem exercises to decrease self esteem are no good)
Why do we put ourselves into a position where we can’t win? Why do we do these things that only make us feel worse about ourselves?
It’s a vicious cycle that you will understand in just a bit.
The self esteem exercises you will learn about in this article will help you break out of it.
The cycle starts with us feeling bad about not accomplishing something. Like, for example, not keeping our books.
We realize that the reason why we feel bad is because we know we need to be doing the books in order to keep our business running.
(Very mundane things can be great self esteem exercises)
So you commit whole heartedly to doing the books by the end of the week. The week starts and things come up: the bathroom drain clogs, the dog throws up all over the carpet, the baby teethes, and on and on. All of a sudden it’s Friday and you ask yourself: How did this happen?
You are completely exhausted and really need a few hours of just sitting in front of the TV, not thinking, not doing anything, just relaxing. You still have until midnight to take care of these darn books.
Then what happens? You fall asleep.
Is it your fault? No of course not, you were just completely exhausted. Otherwise you would have never fallen asleep, obviously. So you give your self a break.
But then … the books.
Shit, you didn’t do them.
You didn’t keep your own promise, and as with anybody else, if somebody doesn’t keep their promise we feel disappointed and start getting mad at the bad guy who failed on us again.
Problem is, this time it is us. We get mad at ourselves. Do you remember how you felt when your parents got mad at you when you were little? It still feels the same.
Now how can we break this cycle?
The obvious solution would be to not promise ourselves anything, kind of like when Mom said, I am not going to promise you that we will go to the fair later because I don’t want you to get all excited and then be disappointed if it doesn’t happen.
But to be honest, I always hated that kind of logic.
So what’s a better way of accomplishing both getting our goals met and feeling better about ourselves?
Here is what I suggest you do (these are the self esteem exercises).
Look at your to-do list and look at the things you keep dragging from one list to the next to the next, the things that are already gathering dust. Get them out of their closet and ask yourself why is it that I don’t seem to be able to this thing? What is holding me back? Do I need more information, another skill, or somebody else to do it? Is it something that really isn’t all that important and I can let go of it completely?
If you find out that it is something you can do you but just haven’t had the time for it, put it on a list. You put all the things you can’t let go and that you can do yourself on that list. Next you prioritize your list.
Now the next step is key! Every evening before you go to bed, sit down at your desk in the quiet and peaceful house and pick the two most important things that need to get done.
Write them on an extra piece of paper really big so you can’t miss it when you get up.
Commit to doing those two things no matter what. I promise you it works! It works because you defined two things that are the most important. They are things you can do, two things anybody – even a mom with newborn twins and a 90 year old grandmother in care – could do.
Two things is a list that feels really realistic to us. When you start accomplishing your two things daily, you feel a sense of accomplishment and relief, because you are actually keeping your promises.
This sense of accomplishment will boost your self esteem and give you energy that you didn’t have before.
If you feel like you need a little extra help, an accountability buddy is super helpful.
You check in daily with your accountability buddy about your two things. My accountability buddies are some of the most valuable assets my business has. (Being held accountable by a loving partner is one of the best self esteem exercises)
If you don’t know where to find such a partner, but would love to have one, come check out my free weekly accountability calls and join the Empowered Business Women group.
You can do so by signing up for my newsletter.
Find more self esteem exercises and articles on overcoming low self esteem.
Barbara is the author of Romancing the Sale – How to Build and Maintain Highly Profitable Customer Relationships That Last and the owner of Barbara Silva Consulting.
Only two years ago, Barbara found her self jobless after having worked as a school teacher for over 25 years. As if loosing her job wasn’t enough, her marriage was undergoing some serious midlife crisis crumbling on top .
It was then that she realized she needed to wake up and take care of her self financially. In just two years, she accomplished a tremendous amount of success.
She focused mainly on learning attraction marketing and becoming a solutions provider.
(Barbara Silva learned attraction marketing at the same free resource I did)
I asked Barbara how she dealt with overcoming low self esteem and lack of confidence. Listen to the interview below to find out how Barbara transformed the ‘I want to be taken care of ‘ gene into ” I can do what ever I want” one and played a trick on her generation’s outmoded programming.
Find more overcoming low self esteem articles and support.
I grew up thinking that having control over my financial future or being able to recession-proof a business was impossible. I also though, that and getting rich was a matter of pure luck. I thought you either had to be born rich or you had to do illegal things. I was neither born rich nor a criminal, so it seemed like my options were get lucky and marry rich or win the lottery.
I went for the easier one of the two options. I looked for a rich man. I thought to myself that this was a very clever way to recession-proof my life.
While I was still searching for “my savior,” the rich guy, I got pregnant during a summer fling. He is my husband now and we are happy, but rich was he not.
So at that point, it looked like my only way to get to money was hitting the jackpot, and the odds of that happening are, I think, one in 13 million.
I didn’t just want to wait my whole life hoping I would win big someday. I really wanted to be financially free.
And even though four yours ago there were no signs of a recession happening, I wanted to be prepared.
I wanted to have a recession-proof life.
I also couldn’t believe that there wasn’t another way to make a good living, other than the two methods I was accustomed to think of.
As the universe works in miraculous ways, a book named Secrets of the Millionaire Mind made it into our house.
At first I felt embarrassed to even be reading a book with such a title. I felt embarrassed to even be thinking I could be a millionaire and recession-proof some day. Nobody in my family was a millionaire, and nobody wanted to even think of being a millionaire some day, because it just wasn’t within my family’s reach.
After I had overcome my embarrassment, and after I had admitted to myself that I would love to be a millionaire and recession-proof someday, I really got into the book. Looking back, I must say that this book opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at money and my financial future.
It talked about the difference in mindset between “Rich” and “Poor” people and how “Poor” or even “Middle Class” people think that they have no control over their income. All they know is to exchange their time for money. Some ask more money for their time, some ask less, depending on how high or low their self esteem is.
In this article, I will not review Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind, but I will share with you the main insights I gained. Those insights help me today to recession-proof my business.
Recession proofing your business really lies within your reach. I have used strategies that work for me during this economic recession. Following are some practical steps that you can start taking right now.
Want to learn the secret of business owners who just don’t seem affected no matter which direction the markets go? Read on, and you find relief and empowerment, and because of that you will have people lining up to do business with you. You will be able to recession-proof your business. You will experience financial freedom and the freedom to work on your own terms and schedule (which were the reasons you started your business in the first place, right?) You will finally feel free and in control of your financial future. That is what recession-proofing is all about.
Here are some insights that I gained from reading Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.
The first new concept that was introduced to me was the thought that we really are in control of our financial future. The author was saying that what we think determines what we create in life.
If we think thoughts of lack and limitation, then that is what we create and experience in life. If we think thoughts of abundance and prosperity, then that is what we create and experience in our life.
I noticed how much I was thinking and feeling that I didn’t have enough. Not enough money, not enough time, almost everything was not enough. I was suffering from low self esteem big time.
So my first insight really was, “Wow I am constantly creating lack, because I think and feel lack in almost all areas of my life, overcoming low self esteem should be my focus.”
The next insight I gained was that I could control what was going on in my mind.
I could control whether I was thinking thoughts of lack or thoughts of abundance.
I could control what was going on in my life by paying attention to my thoughts and thinking thoughts that created the things I wanted. I wanted abundance, freedom and happiness.
Here is why these insights help me and my business to strive in today’s economy and why they make my business recession-proof.
Right now, our entire nation is thinking thoughts of lack big time, and that is what we are creating, mostly. Most peoples consciousness aren’t recession-proof. There are some, however, that don’t seem to be affected by the bad economy at all, and their businesses are even thriving.
This is because they know that what they are thinking creates their reality. It is because they have taken responsibility to think thoughts of abundance, and to act out of a consciousness of abundance.
Acting out of a consciousness of abundance is the sole reason why my business is thriving in this recession.
Let me clarify what I mean by “consciousness of abundance.” It means to me that you feel and act as if you have enough, until you do. It also means that when you have enough you keep acting the same way, only now you don’t have to pretend anymore. You can give freely because you have enough.
Consciousness of abundance means that in your consciousness you have enough even if it’s not yet manifested in form.
In practice it looks like great customer service, giving the best you can give, giving more than is expected of you. Giving, giving, giving in every way you can, without thinking about what’s in it for you.
It also means being generous with your time and knowledge. At first it might be hard to feel like you have anything to give because you don’t have much energy or extra time. I know, I have been there. But once you start conducting business in this way, you will notice that instead of losing energy you are actually gaining it.
I know it can work for you because it is working for me. Believe me, not long ago I didn’t feel like I had anything to give. I had a baby and she got all I had. There was not much energy or time left to put into my business at all.
But I kept changing my thoughts from, “I don’t have enough time to do anything” to “I have just the right amount of time to do everything I need to do today.” I also started giving in small ways, ways that didn’t feel like I was giving too much. Opening a door for somebody at the grocery store, giving a dollar to someone in need. Small things.
I started feeling generous and that made me feel good. That good feeling about myself gave me energy to give in bigger and bigger ways. As a result I started overcoming low self esteem, opportunities appeared, and my income started to increase.
So you see, recession proofing your business has nothing to do with good fortune.
It has mostly to do with your attitude and your willingness to give.
If you supplement your attitude of abundance with a good marketing strategy, you become unstoppable
A good marketing strategy gives you a plan to follow.
Having a plan is like having a map: it helps you to know where you are going.
It makes sure that you get from A to B. A well thought out, written marketing strategy will help your business flourish during these challenging economic times.
Here are five things you can do right now to start putting your marketing strategy together and begin attracting more business:
1. Define your target market. Describe your ideal customer.
2. Write down things that you could teach your customers. Think about what kind of information you could give them related to your products (but not about your products).
3. Find out what your customers are looking for, find out what they like about you and your business, and where they would appreciate improvements
4. Learn attraction marketing.
5. Start thinking and taking notes about ways you could add to the experience that your customer has when he or she buys from you.
Giving more than is expected, and knowing how to market, are the secrets of all the big guys. You can’t expect to get something (money) from your customer without giving first. Everybody who is successful in business right now is successful because they over-deliver on value.
Now that you know these secrets, there is no reason why you should suffer from the recession. The freedom that you are looking for is really within your reach. Aren’t you already feeling more free and in control of your financial destiny?
I can tell you from my own experience that there is nothing better than working on your own terms.
Implement these practices and soon you’ll have more people lining up to do business with you than you can handle. I know you will feel very happy and empowered when that happens.
You are no longer affected by the direction the stock market goes, because you have strategies in place that will recession-proof your business.
I hope that the insights I shared from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind help you to see that it all starts with your consciousness. And you are in control of that.
If you need help replacing your thoughts of lack with thoughts of abundances that are true for you (and not just new age-y mumbo jumbo) I invite you to join me for a 14 day Boot Camp, that will help you doing just that.
To your success!
It wasn’t too long ago that I was thinking I wasn’t able to make money at all.
Overcoming low self esteem is an issue that has been my companion since I can remember.
I felt unable to make money and had very low confidence in my business skills and myself.
As long as I was taken care of by my parents, it didn’t become apparent how much my low self esteem influenced my ability to provide for myself. But as soon as I was out of the house and wanting to life my life independently, I just didn’t seem to be able handle it.
It’s not that I wasn’t working, but when I was working I did it for $7 an hour.
It didn’t matter whether I was working in a job or in my own business, I just didn’t make enough.
I worked day and night shifts, and jobs that often entailed hard physical labor.
I was exhausted and tired, but overcoming low self esteem seemed out of reach for me.
I began overcoming low self esteem when my daughter was born. My transformation literally started with the birth of my daughter.
I just couldn’t put enough time in to make any money. I was absolutely clear that I didn’t want to spend more than 15 hours a week away from my daughter, if that much. So the only other option that I had left was to increase my hourly income dramatically.
I basically didn’t have a choice: I either worked on overcoming low self esteem now or I wouldn’t be able to be with my daughter. The decision was easy for me. It came from my heart.
In this article you will gain clarity about why overcoming low self esteem will be the most save investment you will ever make in your business. You will also find out why you are not making the kind of money you would like to be making. You will find out that Freedom is not determined by your bank account. You will see that overcoming low self esteem is within your reach.
There is a transformation that you will have to go through.
You will have to empower your self, and accomplish your goal of overcoming low self esteem. When you do, you become more attractive to your clients and to money. I will give you a clear picture of the steps entailed, so you too can be prosperous and free.
Do you ask yourself: “why in the world am I not making enough money? Do I not have enough clients? Do I sell my stuff too cheap?”
Here is the answer to your question: Your thought process allows you to believe you are not enough, something is wrong with you or you don’t deserve it because you are a bad person. These thoughts are called negative beliefs.
Overcoming low self esteem has a lot to do with letting go of those hindering beliefs.
Of course you are not thinking these negative beliefs consciously. If that were the case it would make your life and financial situation much easier to change.
You are engaging these negative beliefs subconsciously.
And because the nature of our subconscious is that we aren’t aware of what’s going on in it, it’s a pretty tricky thing to change.
Unwillingly, these negative beliefs are the filter through which we see the world.
We interpret all our experiences through these negative filters.
Because negative beliefs influence conscious experience, we experience negativity, and then think that life is negative.”
It’s a vicious cycle.
This cycle creates a consciousness of lack within us.
We constantly, think, feel and experience that there is just not enough.
There is not enough time, not enough love, not enough support, or not enough money.
It is this lack of consciousness that doesn’t allow you to have all you want to have.
It’s like being held captive in your own prison.
Most of us think that if we just had enough time, if we just had enough money and so on, we could do all the things we want to do. We could get what we want and we would finally be happy.
We could finally be who we are meant to be.
We could be free.
Well what about those negative beliefs lingering in our subconscious?
I am telling you from experience that as long as the negative beliefs are there you will never get out of the prison.
As I said earlier in this article we aren’t aware of these negative beliefs. Now the question is: what the heck can we do to get rid of them?
And the answer is nothing!!!
There is nothing we can do to get rid of them. But there is something else we can do.
We can replace these negative beliefs with positive ones.
This puts the power back in to your hand.
This is the fuel, which will make your transformation happen.
Let me give you an example from my own life:
I consciously observed that I wasn’t making enough money, because I just wasn’t making any.
From this conscious observation I came to the conclusion that I must have been holding a negative belief around me and my ability to make money.
So I assumed that I was subconsciously thinking I just couldn’t make money.
I turned that assumption into a positive one such as:” I am able to make money.”
I just kept repeating this to myself until I saw signs in my life that confirmed this new belief.
What this means for you is that you can look at your life and observe areas where you don’t have enough and assume that you are holding a negative belief around these areas.
Then come up with just the opposite and repeat it to yourself as often as you think of it.
At first it feels like you are lying to yourself, but you are actually lying to yourself when you are thinking negative beliefs. They just feel so familiar that we think they are true.
It’s truly like working out.
The more you do it the easier it gets.
So keep on exercising your new muscle.
You know when you will have transformed a negative belief when you see a positive change happening in your life.
When you take these steps you will be able to create freedom and prosperity.
You will be empowered because you have the tools to transform your life. You will also find that overcoming low self esteem is a not an issue for you because your consciousness is one of abundance and not one of lack anymore.
You will not only feel that you have enough, but you will also feel that you are enough.
You are enough, just the way you are!
Freedom then takes on an entirely different dimension.
It means that you are able to choose.
You are able to choose how you want to live your life.
By being empowered and free you will market your business differently, you will see opportunities differently, you will be able to give more, because you have enough, all these factors and more will then result in your financial success.
If you’d like to get more help and support in transforming your negative beliefs into positives ones I invite you to sign up for my Playing it Big Boot Camp a free 14 day course.
In this course I will walk you through the same exercises that have helped me to transform my low self esteem into self confidence and love and to create abundance in my life.