The Presence Project Day One

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Hi there, how are you?
Did you have a great start into 2010? Yes…or not so?
Well I have been having a maybe so, so start, or let’s just say, a rather transformational 8 holy-days so far.

To bring you up to speed: Since I can think of (almost), I have been trying to crack the code,find bliss, get to enlightenment, make it big as an artist or in business or online, or find permanent happiness some other way.
Sounds familiar?
Needless to say that hasn’t happened so far (otherwise I wouldn’t still be looking).
I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad, I have had some moments of bliss, some really nice and memorable ones.
And I have also had some moments as an artist, as painter, a designer, a dancer, a street musician even (for a day) and in business, but those were far from cracking the code.
I do admit it.
I am a constant seeker.
I am always looking for the newest technique, the most transformational tools and the latest and greatest in the self help department.
If you’re anything like me,then you are the kind of person who loves to hang out in the self help corner at borders, but you never allow yourself to spend any time there, really. Unless, nobody else is looking.
When you do go there, you keep checking your back over your shoulder and you never quite relax.
If you’re anything like me, you’re afraid of being caught “naked”, people seeing you publicly admitting that you do need help (or that you think your broken).
You’re also the kind of person who’s already invested in your own development more than other people put down to buy their first home.
To sum it up, you’re the expert on pain and suffering.
I know, I am. (My theory though is, that those who know pain the best. know joy the best too)
Last summer, the summer of 2009, my pain and suffering, you know the usual stuff like: “why can’t I just be happy with my life?” crap,
send me of to a new adventure.
This time I wanted it for real.
I wanted to be done with it (the pain and suffering).
I wanted a new way of being in the world.
Sorry, I am realizing I am going on and on, and what you really want to hear is, what this project is and how it started.
Early this past October I was re-introduced to a practice called the Presence Process.
And I decided it sounded just like the solution I was looking for. ( It wasn’t quite the start of this project yet but as you’ll find out later in this post it was the spark)
I immersed myself completely into it.
The goal was, to transform everything that makes me react.
To let go of everything that holds me back from taking 100% responsibility for my own life and my own happiness (good bye victim hood).
In other words the promise that the Presence Process gave me ( and you by the way too)
is, the achievement of the arrival in the Now Moment. And just in case you don’t know this already,which I am sure you do,the Now is the only moment in which we are able to be fully conscious.
The Now is also the only moment in which we are able to respond rather than react to what life throws at us. The Now Moment is the only moment we can create (anything)Period.
The Now moment is the only moment in which we fully participate in our life (Period here too).

I wanted that!!!
And still do.

Don’t you want that too?

I got really clear about that again during the past week (the days between Christmas and New Years).
That’s why I was saying at the beginning of this post that I have been having a rather transformational start of 2010 so far. Transformation in the sense that I have been getting clear on what it is I want. I mean really want. Not some goal oriented mind created new years resolutions, one of those that start with: I think I should……fill in the blanks. No.
I am talking about true soul longings. Truth that you can feel in your guts.
And in your heart, of course.
Participating fully in life is such a truth (to me anyways).

This clarity didn’t just happen over night (that’s actually the exciting part). I think it’s a result of me doing the Presence Process. I think something is working.

Continuing to bring you up to speed (the story how this project started), the world kind of stopped for me in early October right after or actually while I was being re- introduced to this amazing yet simple tool.
Since then I not only got clear on what it is I want but also on what it is I am here on earth to do.
Now,if you were sitting in a nice cozy coffee shop across from me right now, this would be the moment you should ask : Carolin what’s that?
Since your in front of your computer reading this at a different time,I am just going to pretend you’d just ask me,and I would blush and shily say:
It is, to help others to life their full potential.
And you’d probably say: “wow Carolin that’s great!”
Me too.
I love that,that’s totally me. That’s all good.
But….
There is a little ( well actually a big) but.
That but is,
In order to help others to live their full potential, I need to be living my full potential first! Right?
The question was:was I ????
The answer was: no.

Living our potential has a lot to do with living our passion.
Was I living my passion?
No. Well maybe some, but some passion is not enough to crack the code. Right?
As soon as I realize that I wasn’t fully living my passion, people who are completely living theirs,people who are making it and are being happy doing what they love, kept popping up out of nowhere. The first one was Gary Veynerchuck. Gary got me with his book Crush it! cash in on your passion. He’s somebody who’s living his passion 24/7. A someliere gone internet multi-multi- millionaire. And then the next one,Julie from the movie Julie & Julia or better said the Julie& Julia Project. A bored to death state agency worker turned french cuisinaire bloggeuse, who not only has now published her very own book (not a cookbook) but also been the true story behind the latest Maryl Streep blockbuster, all because she followed her passion.
After reading Gary and watching Julie I was left with a feeling of: This should be me!!!!
This, “this should be me feeling” together with my total immersion into the Presence Process have lead to me starting this Project.
The Presence Project. Gary and Julie helped me realize that my passion are transformation and growth and writing and helping others.
So how else can I help others to transform than by transforming myself and writing about it?
There is no other way.
I got it now.
So there you have the reasons why I started.
Writing is one of my passions.
I kind of knew it all along, but I’ve held myself back, because I was afraid of making mistakes.( I know I will make mistakes)
And I do have some really good excuses.
The first one being that English is my second language and therefor I will never be able to write and speak it 100% and the second one being, that I have never learned to type, I am hunting and pecking as we speak. ( Now this one I could do something about it if I wasn’t to lazy)
But I do love, love, love writing.

So for now, you’ll have to live with my germenglish.
Hope you don’t mind.
I can’t let my perfections and my excuses hold me back from living my passion any longer. The game is on. I need to be a good example.
Sitting here I feel like this is exactly what I should be doing. (It feels really, really good cracking the code close)
Talking to you, sharing my insides, inspiring you, following my intuition, building my business on faith, -just as Kevin Costner in build it and they will come did.
Do I know that this will be read by anybody, or matter to anyone?
No.
I don’t, and part of me thinks, that this is the most narcissistic undertaking of mankind.
But who I am I to judge what the world needs?
I have been having this nudge to write for over two years now and I have been ignoring it.
How can I tell everybody else to be brave and to live their passions while I am chickening out here in sunny Santa Barbara….
For now I decided to believe that sharing my process,working through the Presence Process, kind of like Julie cooked her way through Julia’s cookbook and letting her readers participate, will be of benefit to many. ( This by the way is the what of the Project)

As far as the Presence Process goes, I have had about 100 breathing sessions so far. consciously connected breathing is at the heart of it’s practice.
I won’t be able to go back and recall everything that’s happened. I will chronicle my progress and experience starting today 1/2/2010 forward though.
If I do remember little incidents and happenings I will share them with you no doubt along the way. (And there were actually some rather comical moments I do remember and will share with you in context when appropriate).
It all started as I shared with you on a Friday morning early October of the last year. It started with an interview I was having with Michael Brown, the Author of the Presence Process. I knew him because he had given a lecture at my local church a couple years ago or so. I remember being deeply touched by what he shared and talked about. The church I was going to was a science of mind church and in case you don’t know, almost all the well known whoo whoo people, some people from the Secret and most other big personal development people from California are science of mind people. I like their teachings, they are all about seeing God in everything, knowing that God is good, and that we are all one. The only problem I am having with science of mind, the secret and the likes is, that I get brain cramps. I feel like I am doing everything wrong, because I am still not driving my dream car or owning my dream house.
You probably know what I am talking about.
As I was talking to Michael that Friday morning, everything he was saying made so much sense to me. He was talking about how we tent to wait for someone else outside of ourselves to heal us.
He talked about how we think we do need healing.
He talked about something he calls emotional signatures.
He talked about how being present in every moment is the only practice he has.
After we hung up the skype (he was living in a dessert in South Africa at the time) as I said my world stopped and I couldn’t continue doing what I was doing.
Contrived mind stuff. It wasn’t working any longer.
So I went and got the his book.
At the time we had just moved back in with my mother in law because we knew we wouldn’t be able to come up with rent for the next few month.
My mother in law lives in a two bedroom apartment in a retirement community.
So you can imagine how the three of us, my husband Daniel, my daughter Maja and I felt. We were stuck in a box for better or for worse- the pressure got pretty high.
Nevertheless I continued my work. Tania Williams my best friend from South Africa and I had gotten the opportunity to take a group of 10 people from start to finish putting two businesses online. Tania took 5 people under her wings and I did the same.
They build www.master-your-mlm-online.com and we build www.be-healthy-with-vitamin-d.com.
Yes I am passionate about business building and the whole online thing, but when I was talking to Michael, the feeling of:”this ( the things he was talking about) is what I should be teaching! And not how to set up a landing page or optimize a blog post” was right in my face. Since I started this blog (www. EmpoweredBusinessWoman.com) I have had the same dilemma, do I write for the search engines trying to figure out what my target audience is typing in? Do I try to attract the whole attraction marketing crowd because I know they are needing help with setting up their blogs and making it online? Or do I write about what’s really going on and is of interest to me and attract you….the people that are naturally attracted to me because of who I am?
Till that Friday morning in October my head was winning over my heart.
Pretty long post so far, he?
I better led you go.
I have been cooking dinner, eating dinner and watching my three year old making art that she calls very impressive, all while writing this post.
Life is good right now.
My stomach filled with greasy in cherry stir fried chicken legs and my soul full of happiness that finally I am listening to my own advise…….

Hi there, how are you?
Did you have a great start into 2010…or not so?
Well I have been having a rather transformational 8 holy-days so far.

To bring you up to speed: Since I can think of (almost) I have been trying to crack the code, get to enlightenment, make it big as an artist or in business or online or find permanent happiness some other way. Needless to say that hasn’t happened so far. I have had some moments of bliss and oneness, I have also had some momenst as an artist and in business but far from cracking the code.
I am a constant seeker. I do admit it.
I am always looking for the newest technique, the most transformational tools and the latest and greatest in the self help department.
Early this past October I was re-introduced to a pratice called the Presence Process.
Since then have immersed myself into it.
The goal being, once again, to transform everything that makes me react. To let go of everything that holds me back from taking 100% responsabilty for my own life and my own happiness (good bye victim hood).
In other words the promise that the Presence Process gives us ,is the achievement of the arrival in the Now Moment. And just in case you don’t know thsi already,the Now is the only moment in which we are able to be fully conscious.
The Now is also the only moment in which we are able to respond rather than react to what life throws at us. The Now Moment is the only moment we can create (anything)Period.
The Now is the only moment in which we fully participate in our life.

I want that!!!

Don’t you want that too?

I got really clear about that during the past week.
That’s why I was saying at the beginning of this post that I have been having a rather transformational start of the new year so far. I have been getting clear on what I want .I mean really want. Not some goal oriented new years intention, that starts with I think I should……fill in the blanks. No.
I am talking about true soul longings. Truth that you can feel in your guts. For me participating fully in my life is such a truth.

This clarity didn’t just happen over night. I think it’s a result of me doing the Presence Process. I think something is working.

The world kind of stopped for me in early October right after or actually while I was being re- introduced to the Presence Process.
Since then I also got really clear on what it is I am here on earth to do.
It is, to help others to life their full potential.
I love that,that’s totally me. That’s all good.
But….
There is a little ( well actually a big) but.
That but is,
In order to help others to live their full potential I need to be living my full potential first right?
The question was:was I ????
The answer was: no.

Living our potential has a lot to do with living our passion.
Was I living my passion?
No. Well maybe some, but some passion is not enough to crack the code. Right?
As soon as I realize that I wasn’t fully living my passion, people who are completely living theirs, making it big and being happy doing it kept popping up. The first one was Gary Vey-Ner-Chuck . Gary got me with his book :crush it! cash in on your passion. He’s somebody who’s living his passion 24/7. A someliere gone internet multi-multi- millionaire. And then Julie from the movie Julie & Julia ort he Julie& Julia Project.A bored to death state agency worker turned french cuisinaire bloggeuse, who not only has published her very own book (not a cookbook) but also been the true story behind the latest Maryl Streep blockbuster, all because she followed her passion.
After reading Gary and watching Julie I was left with a feeling of: This should be me!!!!
All these inspirations lead me to starting this project. The Presence Project. Gary and Julie helped me realize that my passion are transformation and growth and writing and helping others.
So how else can I help others to transform than by transforming myself and writing about it?
There is no other way.
I got it now.
I kind of knew it all along, but I’ve held myself back writing, because I was afraid of making mistakes.( I know I will make mistakes)
And I do have some really good excuses.
The first one being that English is my second language and therefor I will never be able to write and speak it 100% and the second one being, that I have never learned to type, I am hunting and pecking as we speak. ( Now this one I could do something about it if I wasn’t to lazy)
But I do love, love, love writing.

So for now, you’ll have to live with my germenglish.
Hope you don’t mind.
I can’t let my perfections and my excuses hold me back from living my passion any longer. The game is on. I need to be a good example.
Sitting here I feel like this is exactly what I should be doing. (It feels really really good cracking the code close)
Talking to you, sharing my insides, inspiring you, following my intuition, building my business on faith, -just as Kevin Costner in build it and they will come did.
Do I know that this will be read by anybody, or matter to anyone?
No.
I don’t, and part of me thinks, that this is the most narcissistic undertaking of mankind.
But who I am I to judge what the world needs?
I have been having this nudge to write for over two years now and I have been ignoring it.
How can I tell everybody else to be brave and to live their passions while I am chickening out here in sunny Santa Barbara….
For now I decided to believe that sharing my process,working through the Presence Process, kind of like Julie cooked her way through Julia’s cookbook and letting her readers participate, will be of benefit to many.

As far as the Presence Process goes, I have had about 100 breathing sessions so far. consciously connected breathing is at the heart of it’s practice.
I won’t be able to go back and recall everything that’s happened. I will chronicle my progress and experience starting today 1/2/2010 forward though.
If I do remember little incidents and happenings I will share them with you no doubt along the way. (And therewere actually some rather comical moments I do remember and will share with you in context when appropriate).
It all started as I shared with you on a Friday morning early October of the last year. It started with an interview I was having with Michael Brown, the Author of the Presence Process. I knew him because he had given a lecture at my local church a couple years ago or so. I remember being deeply touched by what he shared and talked about. The church I was going to was a science of mind church and in case you don’t know, almost all the well known who who people, some people from the Secret and most other big personal development people from California are science of mind people. I like their teachings, they are all about seeing God in everything, knowing that God is good, and that we are all one. The only problem I was and still am having with science of mind, the secret and the likes is, that I get brain cramps. I feel like I am doing everything wrong because I am still not driving my dream car or owning my dream house.
You probably know what I am talking about.
As I was talking to Michael that Friday morning, everything he was saying made so much sense to me. He was talking about how we tent to wait for someone else outside of ourselves to heal us.
He talked about how we think we do need healing.
He talked about something he calls emotional signatures.
He talked about how being present in every moment is the only practice he has.
After we hung up the skype (he was living in a dessert in South Africa at the time) as I said my world stopped and I couldn’t continue doing what I was doing.
Contrived mind stuff. It wasn’t working anylonger.
So I went and got the his book.
At the time we had just moved back in with my mother in law because we knew we wouldn’t be able to come up with rent for the next few month.
My mother in law lives in a two bedroom apartment in a retirement community.
So you can imagine how the three of us, my husband Daniel, my daughter Maja and I felt. We were stuck in a box for better or for worse- the pressure got pretty high.
Nevertheless I continued my work. Tania Williams my best friend from South Africa and I had gotten the opportunity to take a group of 10 people from start to finish putting two businesses online. Tania took 5 people under her wings and I did the same.
They build www.master-your-mlm-online.com and we build www.be-healthy-with-vitamin-d.com.
Yes I am passionate about business building and the whole online thing, but when I was talking to Michael, the feeling of:”this ( the things he was talking about) is what I should be teaching! And not how to set up a landing page or optimize a blog post” was right in my face. Since I started this blog (www. EmpoweredBusinessWoman.com) I have had the same dilemma, do I write for the search engines trying to figure out what my target audience is typing in? Do I try to attract the whole attraction marketing crowd because I know they are needing help with setting up their blogs and making it online? Or do I write about what’s really going on and is of interest to me and attract you….the people that are naturally attracted to me because of who I am?
Till that Friday morning in October my head was winning over my heart. I think that’s it for now. I have been cooking dinner, eating dinner and watching my three year old making art that she calls very impressive. All while writing this post sitting at the kitchen counter in our new house. Right now life is good, my stomach filled with greasy in cherry stir fried chicken legs and my soul full of happiness that finally I am listening to my own advise…….

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